Tuesday, January 29, 2008

I didnt mean to....

BAHHH!!! I am such an idiot!

I, so tired and I was talking to my grandma and told her it was anotherlate night. She asked were I was last night and with out thinking about it I said "oh we took Lawrence's mom home" and she was like "home?"

At this point I should have told a lie, I should had made something up. Like yea she came to return the car.

But no I kinda accidently spilled the beans about the car and the deer. My grandma...i love her so! but I know she'll be the one to tell my parents " I knew something like this would happen"

she told that "I see it on tv all the time, people let other people borrow their cars and something happens adn its the owners fault and they have to pay for it"

I said "Grandma, its not that bad, it just took out the headlight (exaggeration of the truth) and it was just so she could get a job. I couldn't let her kids starve! It was no big deal. It won't take much to fix, jason and dad are going to look at it and it wont take much"

I think that made her feel better, but its not exactly the truth. I shouldn' t have said anything at all about it! It just slipped i wasn't really thinking about what I was saying. Usually I do, but Im just tired and it slipted! SORRY!!!!

Im not sure who I am apologizing to. myself I guess. But I felt bad and called mom. And she was like "oh heather...no" but then proceded to tell me not to worry about that her and dad said they would handle it if she said anything.
But still she would not have know anything if I hadn't opened my big mouth. ugh! Not that's its a bad thing its just something that I think my parents wanted to keep to us. But Im sure I would have said something about it on saturday when we are going dress shopping.

gtg basketball game....i just had to post b/c i felt crummy and had that feeling in my stomach like I did something wrong....maybe its the hunger...doubt it

later

Deer + car equals no good

So here's the deal.....LPs mom was borrowing my oldy (oldsmoblie) so that she should could get a job, get back on her feet, and fix her car. It was only temporary for like 2 months. Well 2 months had turned into three...which is ok...im not even sure how long she was suppose to have it in the first place.
Well unfortunate events happened and her best friend died. This young lady had cystic fibrosis and was practically a sister to LPs mom. Well she was coming to Campbell to trade out my oldy for LPs car to take to Georgia for the funeral.
As she was a few miles from campus on 421 a deer ran out and hit the car. And I mean hit the car. She said it was a huge buck, and didnt see him until he hit the car.
It looks like the deer hit straight into the head lights and just tried to smash up the passenger side of the car. Dented in the front of the hood and the front fender is hanging low.
I wasn't sure what to think at first. As she drove up my stomach just hit the ground. I wasn't that upset at first I just didnt want to have to make the call to parents.
It was a little over a year ago when I made the call at 6:40am to tell them I had smashed my escort into the back of another vehicle.

The crappy thing for LPs mom is at the brink of having a job a deer wrecks her means of transportation. And her older kids are not making it easy on her. Her best friend has died and now she can't make it to the funeral. Its rock bottom again.

The crappy thing for my family is my parents have to pay to get the car fixed, Gretta (the honda im driving now), also needs a few repairs. And did I mention Im getting married? I just feel like no one can get a break.
My parents are helping me right now by picking up a college loan payment of 200 plus a month. That doesn't include the $173 I start paying later in life. I want to be stable enough to pay that loan they are paying for me right now, or at least help pay for it. They want me and LP to be saving so we can provide for ourselves when we get married in may. And personally I dont want either of us to have to pick up another job. But I want to be married to Lawrence more than anything!

So both parties are put into a jam right now and its not fair for anyone. Its just not fair that you help someone and something like a deer can mess it all up. Its not fair that the people who want to hire LPs mom put her off for 2 weeks when she needs a job.

But maybe LP is right. Maybe it was God stopping his mom from doing what she was going to do in Georgia. who knows. And I think God was stopping her for who knows....other reasons that I dont even know. But it just sucks. It completely blows.

I just pray that God finds a way to provide for my parents in this time. I pray it doesn't cost too much to get it fixed so we can sell it and pay it off. At least break even with it. I dont mind Gretta. she's a good car, with a sun roof and CD player. So she will probably be my new car.

Im still in the "what now" state. But one of the main reasons for this blog was I turned my little inspirational calender I got for teachers, to the 29th and it says this for today:

"My prayer is that God will surprise you today. In your daily routine, in the stressful details of ordinary life, when you least expect it, may grace leap out at you, encouraging your heart."
-Ellyn Sanna-

So maybe that is God saying to just hold on tight right now, and he'll get us all through this mess.
Only time will tell.
One step, one day, on breathe at a time.