BAHHH!!! I am such an idiot!
I, so tired and I was talking to my grandma and told her it was anotherlate night. She asked were I was last night and with out thinking about it I said "oh we took Lawrence's mom home" and she was like "home?"
At this point I should have told a lie, I should had made something up. Like yea she came to return the car.
But no I kinda accidently spilled the beans about the car and the deer. My grandma...i love her so! but I know she'll be the one to tell my parents " I knew something like this would happen"
she told that "I see it on tv all the time, people let other people borrow their cars and something happens adn its the owners fault and they have to pay for it"
I said "Grandma, its not that bad, it just took out the headlight (exaggeration of the truth) and it was just so she could get a job. I couldn't let her kids starve! It was no big deal. It won't take much to fix, jason and dad are going to look at it and it wont take much"
I think that made her feel better, but its not exactly the truth. I shouldn' t have said anything at all about it! It just slipped i wasn't really thinking about what I was saying. Usually I do, but Im just tired and it slipted! SORRY!!!!
Im not sure who I am apologizing to. myself I guess. But I felt bad and called mom. And she was like "oh heather...no" but then proceded to tell me not to worry about that her and dad said they would handle it if she said anything.
But still she would not have know anything if I hadn't opened my big mouth. ugh! Not that's its a bad thing its just something that I think my parents wanted to keep to us. But Im sure I would have said something about it on saturday when we are going dress shopping.
gtg basketball game....i just had to post b/c i felt crummy and had that feeling in my stomach like I did something wrong....maybe its the hunger...doubt it
later
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
Deer + car equals no good
So here's the deal.....LPs mom was borrowing my oldy (oldsmoblie) so that she should could get a job, get back on her feet, and fix her car. It was only temporary for like 2 months. Well 2 months had turned into three...which is ok...im not even sure how long she was suppose to have it in the first place.
Well unfortunate events happened and her best friend died. This young lady had cystic fibrosis and was practically a sister to LPs mom. Well she was coming to Campbell to trade out my oldy for LPs car to take to Georgia for the funeral.
As she was a few miles from campus on 421 a deer ran out and hit the car. And I mean hit the car. She said it was a huge buck, and didnt see him until he hit the car.
It looks like the deer hit straight into the head lights and just tried to smash up the passenger side of the car. Dented in the front of the hood and the front fender is hanging low.
I wasn't sure what to think at first. As she drove up my stomach just hit the ground. I wasn't that upset at first I just didnt want to have to make the call to parents.
It was a little over a year ago when I made the call at 6:40am to tell them I had smashed my escort into the back of another vehicle.
The crappy thing for LPs mom is at the brink of having a job a deer wrecks her means of transportation. And her older kids are not making it easy on her. Her best friend has died and now she can't make it to the funeral. Its rock bottom again.
The crappy thing for my family is my parents have to pay to get the car fixed, Gretta (the honda im driving now), also needs a few repairs. And did I mention Im getting married? I just feel like no one can get a break.
My parents are helping me right now by picking up a college loan payment of 200 plus a month. That doesn't include the $173 I start paying later in life. I want to be stable enough to pay that loan they are paying for me right now, or at least help pay for it. They want me and LP to be saving so we can provide for ourselves when we get married in may. And personally I dont want either of us to have to pick up another job. But I want to be married to Lawrence more than anything!
So both parties are put into a jam right now and its not fair for anyone. Its just not fair that you help someone and something like a deer can mess it all up. Its not fair that the people who want to hire LPs mom put her off for 2 weeks when she needs a job.
But maybe LP is right. Maybe it was God stopping his mom from doing what she was going to do in Georgia. who knows. And I think God was stopping her for who knows....other reasons that I dont even know. But it just sucks. It completely blows.
I just pray that God finds a way to provide for my parents in this time. I pray it doesn't cost too much to get it fixed so we can sell it and pay it off. At least break even with it. I dont mind Gretta. she's a good car, with a sun roof and CD player. So she will probably be my new car.
Im still in the "what now" state. But one of the main reasons for this blog was I turned my little inspirational calender I got for teachers, to the 29th and it says this for today:
"My prayer is that God will surprise you today. In your daily routine, in the stressful details of ordinary life, when you least expect it, may grace leap out at you, encouraging your heart."
-Ellyn Sanna-
So maybe that is God saying to just hold on tight right now, and he'll get us all through this mess.
Only time will tell.
One step, one day, on breathe at a time.
Well unfortunate events happened and her best friend died. This young lady had cystic fibrosis and was practically a sister to LPs mom. Well she was coming to Campbell to trade out my oldy for LPs car to take to Georgia for the funeral.
As she was a few miles from campus on 421 a deer ran out and hit the car. And I mean hit the car. She said it was a huge buck, and didnt see him until he hit the car.
It looks like the deer hit straight into the head lights and just tried to smash up the passenger side of the car. Dented in the front of the hood and the front fender is hanging low.
I wasn't sure what to think at first. As she drove up my stomach just hit the ground. I wasn't that upset at first I just didnt want to have to make the call to parents.
It was a little over a year ago when I made the call at 6:40am to tell them I had smashed my escort into the back of another vehicle.
The crappy thing for LPs mom is at the brink of having a job a deer wrecks her means of transportation. And her older kids are not making it easy on her. Her best friend has died and now she can't make it to the funeral. Its rock bottom again.
The crappy thing for my family is my parents have to pay to get the car fixed, Gretta (the honda im driving now), also needs a few repairs. And did I mention Im getting married? I just feel like no one can get a break.
My parents are helping me right now by picking up a college loan payment of 200 plus a month. That doesn't include the $173 I start paying later in life. I want to be stable enough to pay that loan they are paying for me right now, or at least help pay for it. They want me and LP to be saving so we can provide for ourselves when we get married in may. And personally I dont want either of us to have to pick up another job. But I want to be married to Lawrence more than anything!
So both parties are put into a jam right now and its not fair for anyone. Its just not fair that you help someone and something like a deer can mess it all up. Its not fair that the people who want to hire LPs mom put her off for 2 weeks when she needs a job.
But maybe LP is right. Maybe it was God stopping his mom from doing what she was going to do in Georgia. who knows. And I think God was stopping her for who knows....other reasons that I dont even know. But it just sucks. It completely blows.
I just pray that God finds a way to provide for my parents in this time. I pray it doesn't cost too much to get it fixed so we can sell it and pay it off. At least break even with it. I dont mind Gretta. she's a good car, with a sun roof and CD player. So she will probably be my new car.
Im still in the "what now" state. But one of the main reasons for this blog was I turned my little inspirational calender I got for teachers, to the 29th and it says this for today:
"My prayer is that God will surprise you today. In your daily routine, in the stressful details of ordinary life, when you least expect it, may grace leap out at you, encouraging your heart."
-Ellyn Sanna-
So maybe that is God saying to just hold on tight right now, and he'll get us all through this mess.
Only time will tell.
One step, one day, on breathe at a time.
Monday, December 3, 2007
A foolish message and a foolish Cross
Please don't let the title of this blog fool you about me.
I was reading in 1st Corinthians this morning and chapter 1 verse 18 Paul says
"For the message of the Cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God" (niv)
Now I haven't finished the passage, and maybe I should wait before I post about it. But I was stuck on that verse this morning. I didn't read any further. It spoke to me.
I have been working here at Overhills High School since July. Basketball season has started and the basketball boys like to come and sit in the training room for a little while since their practice is later in the evening. One boy imparticular has been in here for an ankle injury.
One day he was in here and decided to ask a series of questions that struck me as humorous but at the same time I didn't think this young man would mean it as a way to gain information into my personal life. These questions regarded college life as far as partying, drinking and sex. The few topics on the minds of these high schoolers I come in contact everyday.
Well the conversation took a turn to my and Lawrence who I will be married to in May (hey baby ;) ) The question was asked if me and my fiance had ever had sex. I responded with No. and they responded with a why?
I responded with that we wanted to wait till we were married to do that. That we were both Christians and believed in the Bible and Gods teachings of waiting to have sex till after marriage.
This answer was received but the response was "what's if he's not good?"
I had to laugh, The thought had never crossed my mind and it still doesn't. I said "Im not worried about whether he's good or not, I love this man and he if the man God made for me to spend the rest of my life with. And that's all I need."
But still to my basketball boys this answer was not something they themselves could accept. They did however, respect my opinion.
Now the conversation came up again and I stood by the same answer. I tried to reason with two of these young boys that waiting brings a multitude of benefits. I mean the obvious...no pregnancy, especially while they are in high school, no STDs...and no hassles...no one getting the wrong idea. They agreed with me in the sense of the obvious issues, but when it came to a religious perspective they didn't have anything to say back, or just didnt seem to be interested in that point of view.
To me sex was always viewed as something sacred and shared between two people after they are married. I was raised to believe that and as I got older was able to see God's take on it and his instructions. I was raised to believe that if you have sex before marriage it was something to be ashamed of and the whole Scarlet letter thing. It wasn't something you did before marriage as one of the things to consider before you married someone.
It seems to me that in this generation kids are having sex as part of the relationship. The "next level" has extended beyond becoming boyfriend and girlfriend, and making out or whatever but sex is either the next level or just something that's equal to making out. And that bothers me. Especially when I see 14, 15 and 16 year girls and boys being parents and trying to be a teenager at the same time
So noticing that my mention of God and following His standers on the subject seemed to have no affect on these young men. This equally bothered me. I wasn't looking for anything special, I just noticed that they seemed immune to my mention of God, i was expecting questions, but got none. Which is ok, by me mentioning Christ I hope that I aroused some courosity in them.
But reading the verse talking about those who are perishing, i realized I am surrounded daily by those who are perishing, those who are not saved, those who do not have Christ as a personal savior. So my message of the Cross, being the message of why I want to wait to have sex until after I am married is foolish to them, or rather silly....why? B/c of the lack of Christ in their hearts and minds.
God really spoke to me through Scripture this morning and helped me to understand why my reasoning for waiting seemed crazy to a two teenage boys.
My heart aches for the message of the Cross to be the power of God to these young adults here at OHS. I just pray that my life and the things I stand for and my honesty about Christ will stand out above society standers, and above the pressure. And maybe someone will see a different life filled with continual love and no more empty sexual relationships.
It is my prayer that the wisdom of God will fill this place and catch like a wildfire and spread through this schools of lost foolish souls looking for answers in foolish places. I pray that the power of God be the way for these High School athletes I see everyday and not just a foolish message.
I was reading in 1st Corinthians this morning and chapter 1 verse 18 Paul says
"For the message of the Cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God" (niv)
Now I haven't finished the passage, and maybe I should wait before I post about it. But I was stuck on that verse this morning. I didn't read any further. It spoke to me.
I have been working here at Overhills High School since July. Basketball season has started and the basketball boys like to come and sit in the training room for a little while since their practice is later in the evening. One boy imparticular has been in here for an ankle injury.
One day he was in here and decided to ask a series of questions that struck me as humorous but at the same time I didn't think this young man would mean it as a way to gain information into my personal life. These questions regarded college life as far as partying, drinking and sex. The few topics on the minds of these high schoolers I come in contact everyday.
Well the conversation took a turn to my and Lawrence who I will be married to in May (hey baby ;) ) The question was asked if me and my fiance had ever had sex. I responded with No. and they responded with a why?
I responded with that we wanted to wait till we were married to do that. That we were both Christians and believed in the Bible and Gods teachings of waiting to have sex till after marriage.
This answer was received but the response was "what's if he's not good?"
I had to laugh, The thought had never crossed my mind and it still doesn't. I said "Im not worried about whether he's good or not, I love this man and he if the man God made for me to spend the rest of my life with. And that's all I need."
But still to my basketball boys this answer was not something they themselves could accept. They did however, respect my opinion.
Now the conversation came up again and I stood by the same answer. I tried to reason with two of these young boys that waiting brings a multitude of benefits. I mean the obvious...no pregnancy, especially while they are in high school, no STDs...and no hassles...no one getting the wrong idea. They agreed with me in the sense of the obvious issues, but when it came to a religious perspective they didn't have anything to say back, or just didnt seem to be interested in that point of view.
To me sex was always viewed as something sacred and shared between two people after they are married. I was raised to believe that and as I got older was able to see God's take on it and his instructions. I was raised to believe that if you have sex before marriage it was something to be ashamed of and the whole Scarlet letter thing. It wasn't something you did before marriage as one of the things to consider before you married someone.
It seems to me that in this generation kids are having sex as part of the relationship. The "next level" has extended beyond becoming boyfriend and girlfriend, and making out or whatever but sex is either the next level or just something that's equal to making out. And that bothers me. Especially when I see 14, 15 and 16 year girls and boys being parents and trying to be a teenager at the same time
So noticing that my mention of God and following His standers on the subject seemed to have no affect on these young men. This equally bothered me. I wasn't looking for anything special, I just noticed that they seemed immune to my mention of God, i was expecting questions, but got none. Which is ok, by me mentioning Christ I hope that I aroused some courosity in them.
But reading the verse talking about those who are perishing, i realized I am surrounded daily by those who are perishing, those who are not saved, those who do not have Christ as a personal savior. So my message of the Cross, being the message of why I want to wait to have sex until after I am married is foolish to them, or rather silly....why? B/c of the lack of Christ in their hearts and minds.
God really spoke to me through Scripture this morning and helped me to understand why my reasoning for waiting seemed crazy to a two teenage boys.
My heart aches for the message of the Cross to be the power of God to these young adults here at OHS. I just pray that my life and the things I stand for and my honesty about Christ will stand out above society standers, and above the pressure. And maybe someone will see a different life filled with continual love and no more empty sexual relationships.
It is my prayer that the wisdom of God will fill this place and catch like a wildfire and spread through this schools of lost foolish souls looking for answers in foolish places. I pray that the power of God be the way for these High School athletes I see everyday and not just a foolish message.
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